Late breaking news!

This just in:

I am a genius (and clearly a smidge clairvoyant, as well).

Remember THIS?

Well, I'm not too far off, am I? Too bad Tyra didn't jump that bandwagon first. I could have claimed some artistic rights over that sh*t.

No post for you.

Question:

Ideally, if someone was to play you on TV (or in the movies), who would that someone be?

Am I?

Tonight, someone suggested I'm too sarcastic.

To which I replied, "You're right. I am.*"

So please vote on the poll.




*sarcasm not intended.

Oooo doggie...

Gotta love the jems you find when you're weeding your laptop "My Pictures" folder. Nice to see a few familiar faces, non? Or bums... Or Barbies...

Puppy dog tails

It's official, peeps!

Beef is having a big, chubbers bubbers boy!

*does happy tappity-tap dance*

See for yourself:

And no, for the record, you can't actually SEE that he's a boy from this picture (sheesh, people... Susie, I can hear you giggling back there...) But you can see his wee button nose. And his arms, and one of his chubby baked ham legs. And that tummy looks pretty full and round, so it looks like my plans for a fully squeezable nephew (first time saying NEPHEW!!!) are well on their way.

So, let's decide on a name for him, huh? This seems like a fairly easy decision, and one that I am totally qualified to make. As are you, because you're my friends. I would be surprised, in fact, if she didn't give me the responsibility of naming her first born son.

So...

*cracks knuckles*

Let's start a running list, and then Beef can choose one from our extensive and high-quality selections. And I'll begin. I suggest:

Harris Tweed. Or maybe Paris Garters? Or what about Leroy McMeowser Pants? I could give you my pug name, Dr. Snuggles? Then all the kids in kindergarten will think he's smart on the first day, what with already have an MD before his name and all.

I know, there are a lot of choices. Take your time. Think about it, and add a name to the comments. I'm positive she'll choose one we put forward.

*shoves Beef*

So popular...

We played ultimate Frisbee tonight and got beaten... really, really badly.

Part of the issue was they had twice as many players than us, so while they were refreshed and energized, we were dragging butters. So as a joke, one of our teammates called out to a group of kids passing by "Hey! You're wearing a black t-shirt (our uniform colour)... Want to play on our team?"

(I should preface here by saying that we were in a rough part of the city, so I'm pretty sure these kids--who were like 8 years-old--were gang members.)

The one kid, in all his 3-foot, 2-inches Crips-ish-ness, calls back "Pfft. I'm too good for you guys. Except maybe her."

POINTING TO ME!

Bhahahahaha!

I'm a gang girl now. Does that mean I have to start turning tricks?

Here are some words that for various reasons, I don't like to use:

Probe.
Panties.
Bang.
Fertile.
Regurgitate.
Seepage.
Juicy.
Clogged.
Squirt.
Prostrate.

You?

A terrible realization...

I'm coming to the disappointing realization I care too much what others think of me.

And I really wish I didn't.

*taps finger to lip*

Hmm...

Not quite sure what that's about. Not quite sure how that got started. Not quite sure how to get past that.

*puts on lab coat and pushes up glasses*

I'm gonna come to the bottom of this one. Because it's ridiculous.

Hey! Pet peeve? Wasn't I clear?

Pet Peeves and BSB

I have a lot of pet peeves. Please refer to the following list for a more thorough (although incomplete) representation of said peeves.

There is one in particular, however, that's beginning to seriously irk me. It needs to be eliminated. I'm not even sure I can really classify it a peeve, it bugs me so much. Completely consuming. It's so much more of a peeve, in fact, I might even have to classify it an "ehn."

Regardless, however, whatever I'm calling it, it needs to seriously go away. So consider this a formal call-out to Pet Peeve/Ehn #41: Go away. Get out. I'm through with it.

...

In other news, last night was our first Ti-Cat game as season ticket holders. Supa' fun. Fingers and I bought matching t-shirts, and Dark Horse and I bought matching pizza slices. We were forced to leave before the end of the fourth quarter, however, because BSB got "cold and hungry". He even made Fingers buy him a blanket (or cape, as he preferred to call it), which he refused to share with his shivering ladies:

And yes. That is an oversized foam hat. It's funny... It's a funny hat (name that SNL skit...)

My current love affair...

It's rare if I find one album a year I like enough to buy. Last year it was Paulo Nutini's "These Streets"--New Shoes was my mantra. This year I thought it was Kate Nash's "Made of Bricks"--hello Shit Song and Pumpkin Soup?

But whoa! Wait up, friends! There might be a *second course to this musical feast of mine.

*Excuse the extra cheesy analogies.... I'm excited...

Seriously. I know this prolly gets old to those who check in daily. But honestly, Estelle's new album "Shine" is so ridiculously good, I can't even begin to explain it. Go out and buy it, or at least hit up your library (like me) and borrow it.

Every morning I climb into Yaris, turn to track one, unroll my windows and blare the CD all the way to the library. And at 5:00 I get back in, finish the record, and go back through for replays of the songs I like most (Wait Just a Minute, No Substitute Love, American Boy, So Much Out the Way, and You Are...) It's honestly like her lyrics are speaking about me.

Sigh.

I heart Estelle.

S-M-R-T

Tonight's "Much Music Top 10" was robot themed. So of course, my instinct was to call Fingers, and in turn BSB, who is deathly afraid of robots after reading that in 10 years, 70% of the world will actaully be robots (or something like that...)

Anywho, BSB didn't see the humor in my calling. So he sarcastically replied "Much Music is for 14 year-olds." To which I replied, "Much Music is for people who enjoy music created after the gramophone."

...

In other news, Free Samples and I went to see Iron Man last night. All around fab--including the popcorn. But, I'm stuck on something:

What's the deal with these Afghanistan mountains? Why is it so difficult to find Osama bin Laden (not to be confused with Obama bin Laden *blush*) in these so called hills? They look pretty barren to me.

"Is he behind that rock? No? Hmm... Well than what about that other rock 500 yards that'a way? No again, huh. Well, gosh darn the only place left to look is the other, other rock, 3 miles in the other direction..."

Of course, all of my reference points are from major Hollywood blockbusters. I've never actually been to Afghanistan. Bosnia Herzegovina, yes. But Afghanistan, no. But I gotta think it would be a lot harder to find him in a rainforest. So why aren't we searching there, hmm?

Regardless, really, the entire argument is futile.

Two words: Google. Maps.

Ireland-a-go-go!

I booked my farking trip!

EHN!

It's true. Friday was a bit of a whirlwind, and after many email exchanges with my travel agent, I went ahead and booked. There was a total steal of a flight, and I worried if I waited (like I did with the Octoberfest trip) the deal would pass me by. So, Ireland, here I come!

I leave September 26th (the day after my birthday...) and spend two days in Dublin on my own. Followed by a five day tour with Shamrocker, and one last day on my own before leaving. Here's the itinerary:

Day 1: Dublin to Westport
Immerse yourself in myth and legend first off at The Hill of Tara, seat of the High Kings and a Pagan Stronghold of ancient Ireland. Next, off to Kilbeggan, home to one of the oldest licensed Whiskey Distilleries in the world. After sampling the good stuff it’s onto Ireland’s pilgrimage town of Knock to clear your conscience! The Atlantic town of Westport is a perfect place to sit back and enjoy the ‘Ceol agus Craic’ (that’s music and good times to us!)

Day 2: Westport To Galway
En route to Kylemore Abbey, enjoy the spectacular scenery of Connemara, from our own Holy Mountain Croagh Patrick to Doolough Valley with a lake as dark as its history. Walk through the brooding mountains of wild and rugged Connemara or picnic on one of its beautiful white sandy beaches before relaxing in the tiny capital of the region, Clifden. Next it’s onto Roundstone for a bit of Bodhran making. Galway city is next! Hang out in its maze of colorful medieval streets and soak up its lively cultural scene.

Day 3: Galway To Doolin
Start the day with a beautiful scenic drive along Galway Bay & Kinvarra Bay into the heart of the Burren’s lunar limestone landscape. Wonder at the 5000 year old portal tomb Pol na Brone Dolmen before a coastal drive to a beautiful beach for a game of Gaelic footie! Relax over a pint of the black stuff before seeing the awe inspiring Cliffs of Moher. Doolin, home of traditional Irish music is our overnight stop.

Day 4: Doolin To Killarney
Head south along the windswept coast of Clare. Watch out for dolphins on our ferry crossing over the mighty River Shannon. Sit back and enjoy the beautiful countryside of Ireland’s Kingdom, Kerry, en route to the charming and colourful fishing town, Dingle - home to Fungi the Dolphin! Take in the spectacular views along the Dingle peninsula, a magical place of unique beauty, beaches, palm trees, stonewalls and Irish speakers! Spot the Sleeping Giant and the Three Sisters as you walk to the edge of the world! Then it’s the drama and spectacle of the Kerry Mountains before settling in for the night. Our overnight stop is bustling Killarney town, surrounded by Killarney National Park and the famous lakes.

Day 5: Killarney To Dublin
From the mountains of Kerry we Journey through the picturesque valleys and the pretty hills of West Cork- the cradle of the Irish War of Independence where you'll hear tales of Michael Collins and the old IRA. Kiss the Blarney Stone and discover fairy lore. Walk the wishing steps, get the gift of the gab and enjoy the magic and scullduggery of Blarney Castle. Be inspired by the tower of Babel formation in the Mitchelstown Caves. Wonder at the dramatic spectacle of the Rock of Cashel, a church fortress overlooking the fertile plains of Munster. Then it's through Tipperary and on past the stud farms of Kildare as we make for the Fair City - Dublin. There may even be time for a last pint in a hidden pub along the way!

And I really am so, so excited, it's ridiculous. I think 1/4 of the excitement is because it's a vacation from work to somewhere different and new. Whereas 3/4 of the excitement comes from the fact it's all mine. No one elses. Just mine. My trip. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Now, as Fingers pointed out, I just need to learn Leprechaun.

Psst...

... I booked my flight to Ireland...

...

...

*squee*

Snore-fest

Let's talk about John Legend...

Yum, etc. n'est pas?

In other news, 'tis Buskerfest in Dundas this weekend, which makes me happy for two reasons:

1. Patios.
2. Carnivals = cotton candy and candy apples. Not that I generally buy either of these, but I like the way they make the air smell.

Reminds me a bit of the Fringe in Edmonton, really (for those who've not experienced a busking event.) Except I used to be scared of the buskers (clowns) and I don't remember being scared at the Fringe.

This post is fairly boring, so I appologize. Perhaps I'll update later should something--anything--exciting happen.

Three things that confuse me:

1. There are few things I love more than stove popped popcorn, so it's rapidly becoming a nightly routine. My pot is just the right size for one nice sized serving, or two smalls, and I've got the kernel-to-melted-butter ratio down pat. Same with the timing.

There is one matter, however, that continues to confuse me. And that is, what the deal is with "name brand" kernels. How are the Orville Redenbacher's better than the President's Choice's? Why would I pay $3.75 for a bag that would cost me $0.99 at the Bulk Barn, hmm? Can someone shed some secret popcorn light on this for me?

2. Angelique from Rock of Love 2. I'm pretty sure she's never had plastic surgery. Pretty. Sure. I'm not convinced, but I'm pretty sure she's all natural. So I don't understand why someone with this much intelligence and charisma and "wow factor" would go on a show like Rock of Love 2? Now don't get me wrong, Bret Michaels is a real catch. He's a very pretty lady boy, and I envy his high quality weave and the size of his upper lip. But this woman is clearly a really high class hooker. And she could do so much better.

I wonder if Ben Mulroney is single?

3. There are certain traditions that I'm sad to say have gone by the way side--hats and gloves; boys opening doors; dinner dances. In line with this, why have we not started a competitive croquet league? Not only is croquet retro chic (or at least, it will be when we bring it back), but this seems like an easy solution to our missing three pitch team. And I feel like I could kick some serious butters at croquet (if I could get past Poomoblie, who I'm pretty sure would resort to beating me with the mallet in order to win...)

Regarding Canadian Idol

Let's talk about the travesty that is Canadian Idol. For ease of argument, I've bulleted my points.

Reason #1 to hate the show: Ben Mulroney.

I find it hard to believe he is our home town equivalent of Ryan Seacrest. Granted, Mr. Seacrest is nowhere near the fabulousness that is le bread avec le slice. But Ben? Really?

a) He wears sports coats. All. The. Time. Sports coats do not = legitimate or handsome. Who's giving him this advice? Probs the same person who told Camilla Scott to end her show with the phrase "take care, brush your hair..."

b) Speaking of hair, his is hair is ridiculous. Two words: Donald Trump.

c) His voice is like nails on a chalkboard. And he's always yelling. Sit DOWN Ben Mulroney. You're not Justin Trudeau. I'm sorry.

Reason #2 to hate the show: Zack Werner.

Who is this man, and why does he have the right to be a judge on the show? CTV.ca tells me his musical background ranges from the seedy Manitoba underbelly, to the wilds of Minnesota. Last I heard, neither was the thriving metropolis of the music industry. And lets not forget about the undeniable success of his band, The Ringing. You have heard of The Ringing, haven't you?!

...

...

p.s. He's rude. Leave the poor, nice North-of-Saskamatoon-girl alone, @ssface.

Reason #3 to hate the show: Kalan Porter.

Reason #4 to hate the show: No follow through.

Where are all these so called "winners," hmm? We're in season six now, huh? Yeah. We are. Which means there have been five PREVIOUS winners... Brian Melo, Eva Avila, Melissa O'Neil, Kalan Porter, and Ryan Malcolm.

I know, I know. Ryan Malcom is huge. After all there was that time he... Oh wait, no, that wasn't him. Oh but he did have that album... Oh wait, no. Again, not him. Yeah, but Melissa O'Neil, now there's a star. She's... Um... No, no again... And I think we all know my thoughts on Kalan *eye roll* I will deny until the day I die I was at that concert. I mean, I was basically tricked into it, and spent the entire time drinking. The scar of his "floor-gasm" will haunt me for life.

Now, for shoots and googles, let's compare our successes to that of the American Idol, shall we? (please note, I don't watch either, but wikipedia is an amazing pop culture resource...):

Kelly Clarkson? Yup. Fantasia Barrino. Huge on the Gospel scene. Carrie Underwood? Uh huh. Katharine McPhee and Chris Daughtry? Check. And hey! They didn't even WIN for poops sake! And then there's Jordan Sparks--regardless of how inane and tres horrible her songs may be (honestly, they make me want to punch and kick), she's all over the flippin' radio (much to my chagrin...)

In conclusion, heretofore, ipso facto, moreover... Ew.

p.s. I have a lurker on my chin. It's so big, I honestly believe it's my twin. Praise Xenu it's far enough under there I can't see it when I look down.

Unforgettable Canada: 100 Destinations by Fischer and Hudson

I got inspired.

This title was a new book in our display area, and during a quick thumb through I thought to myself "Hey... I've been there... And there... And there!"

Turns out I've been to 16/100 places. Not bad, really.

Now it's your turn! Can you round out the list? Have you been to any of these places? If so, write it out in the comments, and we'll see if we can cross out all 100! I'll do my best to update as we go along:

1. Iceberg-Watching, NL
2. Dempster Highway, YT & NT
3. Parksville Beach Festival, BC
4. Le Pays de le Sagouine, NB
5. North of Superior, ON
6. Dinosaur Provincial Park & Badlands, AB
7. Kayaking with Killer Whales, BC
8. Old Quebec, QC
9. Auquittuq National Park, NU
10. Cape Spear National Historical Site, NL
11. Little Doctor Lake, NT
12. Thousand Islands, ON
13. Historic Lunenburg, NS
14. World’s Tallest Totem Pole, BC
15. Land of Living Skies, SK
16. Tuktoyaktuk & Pingos, NT
17. Lake Louise, AB
18. L’Anse aux Meadows National Historic Site, NL
19. Montreal Jazz Festival, QC
20. Mary’s Point Shorebird Reserve, NB
21. Mt. Robson Provincial Park, BC
22. Big Muddy Badlands & the Outlaw Trail, SK
23. Algonquin Provincial Park, ON
24. West Edmonton Mall, AB
25. Cape Breton Highlands & the Cabot Trail, NS
26. Historic Whitehorse, YT
27. Juan Perez Sound & Hot Springs Island, BC
28. Gatineau Hot-Air Balloon Festival, QC
29. Virginia Falls, NT
30. Prince Edward Island National Park, PE
31. Head Smashed in Buffalo Jump, AB
32. CN Tower, ON
33. Cirque of the Unclimbables, NT
34. Grasslands National Park, SK
35. Witless Bay Ecological Reserve, NL
36. The Inside Passage, BC
37. Pointe-au-Pere Lighthouse, QC
38. Agawa Canyon, ON
39. Nahanni National Park Reserve, NT
40. Baffin Island, NU
41. Pacific Rim National Park Reserve, BC
42. Peggy’s Cove, NS
43. Ram Plateau, NT
44. Canada Day in Ottawa, ON
45. Gulf Islands National Park Reserve, BC
46. Bay of Fundy Tides
47. Montmorency Falls, QC
48. Calgary Stampede, AB
49. Top of the World Highway, YT
50. Great Sand Hills, SK
51. Cape St. Mary’s Ecological Reserve, NL
52. Beach combing by Helicopter, BC
53. Moraine Lake & the Valley of Ten Peaks, AB
54. Confederation Bridge, PE
55. Old Montreal, QC
56. The Fortress of Louisbourg, NS
57. Dawson City, YT
58. Ile Bonaventure & Perce Rock, QC
59. The Rocky Mountaineer Train Trip, AB & BC
60. Skating on the Rideau Canal, ON
61. Cape Bonavista, NL
62. Vancouver Seawall, BC
63. Glacier Lake, NT
64. Magadalen Islands Seals, Birds & Sandcastles, QC
65. Writing-on-Stone Provincial Park, AB
66. Mt. Logan, YT
67. Gwaii Haanas National Park Reserve, BC
68. Killarney & La Cloche Mountains, ON
69. Icefields Parkway, AB
70. Shediac: Lobster Capital, NB
71. Churchill’s Polar Bears, MB
72. Gros Morne National Park, NL
73. Yellowknife: Canada’s Diamond Capital, NT
74. Stanley Park, BC
75. Grand Manan, NB
76. Dog sledding in QC, QC
77. Niagara Falls & Niagara Wine Country, ON
78. Great Northern Arts Festival, NT
79. Athabasca Glacier, AB
80. Signal Hill National Historic Site, NL
81. Brackendale Bald Eagles, BC
82. Cape Enrage, NB
83. Mount Royal & St. Joseph’s Oratory, QC
84. Gimli Icelandic Festival, MB
85. Ice-Fishing on Lake Simcoe, ON
86. Masset Potlatch, BC
87. Quebec Winter Carnival & Ice Hotel, QC
88. Bouctouche Dune, NB
89. Waterton Lakes National Park, AB
90. Tea at the Empress, BC
91. Kluane National Park, YT
92. Canadian Mint, MB
93. Entry Island, QC
94. Della Falls, BC
95. Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Cavendish National Historical Site, PE
96. Kitikmeot & Beechey Island Historic Site, NU
97. Banff Springs Hotel, AB
98. Reversing Falls, NB
99. Cruising the St. Lawrence, QC
100. Salmon Fishing in the Queen Charlotte Islands, BC

His milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

Today I passed a man riding a street bike (what used to be called a "10-speed," I believe?) and the seat was red. I won't tell you how shocking it was to see him. At first glance, I thought his goodies were poking out of his bike shorts, if you know what I mean.

*shift eyes*

Red bike seats should be illegal.

Happy Monday, peeps.